I don't do comedy anymore but I'm a fatty from Texas and I'm 25. What I do for fun: online dating. My kik is bananabicycle, use it wisely. Ya welcome ya filthy animals.

 

forgetyeahcomics:

“do you have a girlfriend?”

“no but sometimes people on the internet flirt with me and I have no idea how serious they are about it”

Omg

(Source: punkasfrick)

edgarsucks:

I’m so glad this human gets to be famous.

Me too

(Source: suqmydiqtbh)

Stop planting flowers in peoples yards who aren’t going to water them.

(via elauxe)

My neighbors just turned my water off. They think they’re doing me a favor. I’m a whiny little bitch lol.

(Source: dudeshesgay)